I remember when I was in elementary school, during gym class my teacher would pick two leaders to form two dodgeball teams. I would sometimes find myself one of the last to be picked. I couldn’t understand because one, I was a fast runner, and two, I played softball for years so I had a pretty good whip.
But that’s not the point: it’s the norm that we wait to get picked. To seek permission to be on someone’s team and hear the three words, “I pick you.” Today, I challenge you to remove that thought and realize that no one will pick you—so that you can continue to read this article.
It’s silly to ask permission to stand up and reach for your dreams. It’s absolutely absurd to ask for authority to create the life that you want. Let’s get real, guys! If you want something to happen, you’ve got to pick yourself.
And no, your mom doesn’t count.
Let’s just say that your big dream is to be featured on TEDtalk (definitely on my bucket list) and all of a sudden, it goes out of business. The way I see this, there are two options:
1. Give up your dream. Go home, cry & eat a big bucket of ice cream (Rocky Mountain Ben & Jerry's to be precise)
2. Find a local coffee shop and plan a networking event with amazing speakers including yourself
Believe in Yourself
I’m not going to lie, when I started taking my freelance business seriously, I was terrified. And even now, I’m still scared at least a little bit. I’ll have moments when I believe that I’m not smart enough, or productive enough to make this work. I’ll tell myself nonsense—that I don’t have the skills to build a thriving business and be a success, no matter how much I want it, and no matter how much I may have already proven otherwise. I gather my feelings that I may not be good enough...
Not everyday is like this, of course! There are days when I feel more confident and believe in myself; but it can be hard to remember those moments when I’m in the midst of self-doubt or when I’m sure I won’t measure up to the success of the other women entrepreneurs I watch and so deeply admire.
There are a lot of factors of not feeling good enough and it’s time we put an end to this—the seemingly constant murmurs to be the best partner/friend/mother executive you can be; and of course, Beyonce.
Pay attention to the source of our self-doubt: where is it coming from? It’s important to note that we have the ability to overcome anything we set our minds to.
Stop the Comparison
This was a major ah-ha moment: don’t measure your success to someone else’s. It will take you back to ground zero, and make you start again. Everyone is on a path—whether you’re on it or not, does not mean it’s the right or wrong path. I think social media has a HUGE impact on this one. We’re constantly ‘scrolling’, feeling pressure to see someone else potentially doing better than us. Someone being better. Someone being more. Someone being someone. It’s exhausting! Someone else’s definition of accomplishment does not have to be yours. Seek to understand what “success” means to you, and remember to view your own life through that lens. Not theirs.
So, what then?
We can’t just forever ignore the sirens of social media because it’s not going anywhere. However, once we recognize our feelings and pinpoint where it’s coming from, how do we push forward?
It’s not easy, but it can be done.
Focus on what you do right
I’m cutting out the fluff—focus on what you’re doing that is right. No one is perfect and no one should have to pretend to be. Just be you and appreciate the person that you are today.
You are here for a reason. Every step and action you took got you where you are today. You’ve done so much right. You are good enough! Give yourself credit. Write these moments down. Be proud of yourself. Make mistakes and learn. You are worth it—inside and out. All of us are.